he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
