If i come over, it means nothing
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
