My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
