You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
