sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
