y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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