Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
