I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
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