For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
