that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
