Kiss
Puke
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
