He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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