Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he was CRYING into my vagina
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
