ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
