I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I understand Curling. That high.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
