there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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