gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Sext me about skeletons
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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