I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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