Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
