i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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