I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
