Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
