been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
