I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
