that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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