I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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