I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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