i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
