i jhust puked up my retainher.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
