Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
