So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
