I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
