im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
