I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
