do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
