Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
