OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
