Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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