Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
