Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
