I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
not ubering you a puppy
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
