Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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