i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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