Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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