Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
