We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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