It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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