We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
