I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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