are you still at the devil's house?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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