just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
